Friday, May 01, 2009

Wedding Month!

You may have noticed the songs playing on the blog. They are mostly a collection of songs from our wedding. Thats because this month Daniel and I will celebrate 6 wonderful years of marriage! This is also the month that our siblings Josh and Paola will begin their marriage. Hopefully later on this month we will have some great pictures from their wedding to share. It is on my heart this month leading up to the date our wedding took place to share a few things that I have learned in my marriage to Daniel both as a reminder to myself and to encourage others to make our marriage's be all that they can be for the glory of God! Marriage can be romantic and heavenly long after the wedding is over but it takes effort and maturity on our parts to make it that way. This is for you little Grace Rich and any future daughters and daughter-in-loves that come into our family. May God make us the "helpmeets" that he created us to be!

#1 A soft answer turns away wrath~ As the woman of the house we set the mood in our homes and our husbands are greatly affected by the mood we set. It is difficult during PMS, during times of sickness, when kids misbehave, the baby is fussy, and the house is not as clean as we would like not to be irritable, sensitive, or over emotional. We all have days like this and can't always keep ourselves from feeling that way but one thing I learned from my mother growing up is to always use a soft answer even on the worst of days. The tone and volume of your voice says more than your words.

Proverbs 15:1 says~ A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.

#2 Nothing causes a husband to want to get away more than a nagging wife. It can be very frustrating when the trash is running over, the van needs work, and he dosn't seem to notice or you would like him to do something that he dosn't seem to care about doing. I have learned to try and mention something no more than twice (men are one track minded and it is possible he wasn't paying attention the first time you said it). When you have mentioned it twice and he still dosn't do it, it is time to put your marriage first by either not letting it bother you or taking it apon yourself to take care of the need. Yes, it is possible (with your husbands permission of course) for a wife to learn to pick out good tires, go to the auto store and buy the correct brake pads and find the most economical place in town to get the van inspected or fixed!

Proverbs 27:15 says~ A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

#3 Make your bedroom a place you want to spend time together~ A few months ago I attended a womens conference at our church. The wise woman who taught a class on marriage told us that a couples bedroom is a pretty good indicator of their intimate life. This doesn’t mean buying expensive d├ęcor or furnishings but keeping it uncluttered and a romantic place to spend time together. This is especially important when you have several small children all competing for Daddy’s attention as soon as he walks in the door and you hardly get the chance to talk. There also tends to be toys in every room of your house and dates can’t be as often as would be ideal . It is great to have one room with no toys or tv where you shut out all the busyness of life to focus solely on eachother. Clean sheets, cheap picture frames and votive candles bought 3 for $1 can do alot to make the bedroom a lovely date place! This is where I think we could actually take some lessons from the immoral woman in Proverbs to use on our husbands!

Proverbs 7: 15-18 says~ So I came out to meet you, diligently to seek your face and I have found you. I have spread my bed with tapestry, colored coverings of egyptian linen, myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until morning, let us delight ourselves with love.

#4 It is hard for a husband to love a wife who does not love herself. I struggled alot with low self esteem growing up. If I am not careful it is still easy for me to get down on myself. Most of you probably remember the serious van accident we were involved in back in March of 2006. I was driving when the accident occured and became deeply embittered at myself in the weeks following. I cannot tell you the burden it lifted off of our marriage when I finally forgave myself. This can also apply to not complaining to our husbands about other imperfections we feel make us unattractive. What I have found is that Daniel finds me attractive even at 9 months pregnant and even right after giving birth and he can’t stand to listen to me try and tell him otherwise!

Romans 8:1 says~ There is therefore now no condemnation to those are in Christ Jesus

Song of Solomon 4:7 says~ You are all fair my love, And there is no spot in you.

#5 Let your husband know that you are proud to be his wife~ A couple years ago just before my sisters rehearsal dinner I went into a junk store to find a necklace to wear with my outfit that evening. I bought a cute charm to put on a necklace I already owned. The charm had a beautiful R on it. I will be honest and say the thought that charm could benefit my marriage never crossed my mind. The first time Daniel saw me wear it he let me know how much he liked it, that it made him made him feel like I was branded as his and proud to be Mrs. Rich. I now proudly wear that necklace as often as possible!

Proverbs 31:23 says~ Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.

#6 Make your home a place your husband can’t wait to come home to~ Even if the day has been less than perfect or worse, try to meet your husband at the door with a good attitude and let him know you are delighted to see your lover! Not because the trash is running over and you need help with the kids so you can cook dinner. No man wants to come home to a stressed out wife flinging kids at him as soon as he comes in the door.

Song of Solomon 2:8 says~ The voice of my beloved! Behold, he comes Leaping upon the mountains, Skipping upon the hills.

#7 Give him time to do something he enjoys~ Last fall I could not understand why Daniel would want to join the church volleyball team. He had no experience playing volleyball and I would have to give him up twice a week for several months. However I now love watching him get into his games so intensely and dive all over the court for the ball. It ended up bringing me a lot of joy to go to his games and see him have such a good time.

1 Corinthians 13:5 says~ Love does not seek its own

#8 Make sure his love tank is full~ I highly recommend the book “The five love languages by Gary Chapman to learn the language that conveys the most love to your spouse. For Daniel and I’m sure alot of other men that language is physical touch. Think of ways you can surprise your husband by loving him in his love language. For example, when He is out somewhere, go find his car and tie a plastic bag to his steering wheel with something pretty of yours inside and leave a note saying “There is a woman who loves you with all her heart waiting for you at 540 Chinquapin Trail”. He will have quite a happy drive home!

#9 Give your husband a safe place he can share absolutely everything with no fear of condemnation~ Be his heart, be his soul mate. If you came to our wedding you may remember that my father-in-love sang a song to us that he wrote. A few words to that song were " You will be his heart". I always remembered those words and have tried my best to be his heart. I want to encourage you to open the door for your husband to talk to you about ANYTHING even if there is a chance it could hurt you. Listen to all of his hopes, dreams, and goals for his life, his business, and for your family and purpose to make them your own.

Proverbs 31:11 says~ The heart of her husband safely trusts in her.

#10 Spend time each day praying for your husband~ I highly recommend the book “The Power of a Praying wife” by Stormie Omartin. Prayer changes our husband’s lives more than anything else. Pray that he will be the spiritual leader and father that God would have him to be. Pray that God will order his steps that day and bless him in his business. That he would have favor both with God and with men.

Romans 12:12 says ~ Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer.

It is my hope that all of you who read this will not think I have arrived at being a Godly wife in any way. I am so far from it. I still have so much more to learn and much farther to go in learning to be the helpmeet God created me to be for Daniel. Blessings on all your marriages! ~Delighted to be "Mrs. Rich"


Paola said...

Wow!!! That was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much!! Can I post all this in my blog? :):):)

The Rich Family said...

certainly! Can't wait to come to the wedding!

Alexis said...

This is so great! I'm going back to read it again!

Alexis said...

Thanks for the follow! And congrats on your baby on the way!

Alexis said...

I've given you an award! Details on my blog!

Sarah Mae said...

This is really fantastic and I am going to link to it on my blog once my part is over.

I am so glad to have "met" you. After reading through your posts, I think we may be kindred spirits my friend. :)

Mama Notes said...

this is so great, thank you for these! I'm going to write this all down so I don't forget it, thanks again!